Original concept and Script by Gregory Maguire & Winnie Holzman
Edited and adapted by C.L. Barkel
4-6 minute monologue
This piece has been written, while Elphaba is traditionally female, as gender neutral. Actors should be aged 15-25, ideally school/college aged in appearance. This piece is made to be malleable and can be performed easily in classes as well as on stage. The set can be as minimal as a block or seat and costume requires a school uniform and possibly glasses. Makeup is indicated at green facepaint or foundation, however to lessen costs a green stagelight may be used. Props include a quill, book and a school bag but this can be changed at the director's/actor's discretion. Break a leg! </centre>
(Writing with quill, pausing occasionally to see audience staring at her) What? What are you all staring at? Oh! Do I have something in my teeth? Alright may as well get this over with. (Pause, throws suit case) No I am not seasick, yes I have always been green and No I didn't eat grass as a child! Ugh! (Sits back down with a FRUMP) Sweet Oz, you know what annoys me, you know what REALLY melts me up inside? It's that all of you have this stupid obsession with my verdigris to an obscure degree, I mean really! It's like all you munchkins are so small minded and all you witches and wizards are acting like I've got a spell on me and well the animals are acting like.. animals! (Pause) I just don't see why this skin should be how people judge me; I mean they should at least get to know my terrible personality before they hate me!
But you know what the worst part is? My father. My very own father. The governor of Munchikinland, you know the little people with the high squeaky voices. My father the man who supposedly gave life to me looks at me like a leper or a rotten carcass. I mean.. I don't look that bad, do I? Don't answer that. What I find the most aggravating part is: I know why my father hates me. Most people have the benefit of living in some ridiculous doubt of what they did to make someone hate them isn't as bad as it really is or even that it wasn't even their fault. But no. Mine's as plain as... the skin I sport.
Y-you see, when my mother was carrying Nessarose, my younger sister, and my father began to worry and fret that the new baby might come out (pause) Green. So he made my mother chew milk flowers in hope of a cure, Day and night! Only, it made Nessa come too soon, w-with her little legs, al-all tangled... sister was restricted to life in a wheelchair and... and my mother-she- she never woke up. All of which would have never happened if not for me.
The funny part is, being as independent and self governing as I am, I still feel the urge to have him look at me the same way he looks at Nessarose. As if humiliating me at home wasn't enough he has to go and rub it in my face in public too. His gaudy public display of handing Nessa those beautiful jeweled shoes (pause) not to mention announcing her future position as Governess which is meant to go to the ... eldest child. (pause) But of course how could he ever buy me shoes, I clash with everything!
But that's not important is it? (Laughs awkwardly then pauses) The important thing is, my education hangs in the balance. I came here to Shiz University because it is called the best in Oz. Now if some of our past educators and leaders could see the airheads they let in! Sweet Oz! My roommate is no exception. I mean what's the one perfect word I can use to describe her... BLONDE. Not to be cynical but, really, who enjoys hearing (ridiculous giggle while tossing hair around wildly) Toss, Toss! Day in day out twenty four-seven! I know I don't!
But that's not the worst part of Shiz. Oh no. Did you know ten years ago Animals were the only professors here at Shiz? Now look at the place! Only Dr. Dillamond is left and I hear even he's on the chopping block!! I mean, he tells me there were days when you could hear an antelope explicating a sonnet, a snow leopard solving an equation or even a wildebeest waxing philosophically. But no, now the animals are losing their rights and even worse (looks around suspiciously) their ability to speak!
That's why I have to see the Wizard. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. He'll fix everything if he had someone to express their concern about it. He has such power! Madame Morrible said if I make good, that (pause) I could be the Wizard's Magic Grande Vizier! Could you imagine! Me! A place in high government! (laughs with excitement - pause) I always secretly hoped he could... de-greenify me...
(Composes him/herself) I know. It's a ridiculous thing to dream that the Wizard could ever do such a thing but... that's what dreams are for right? Letting us believe something so ridiculous that when the truth comes out our heart breaks? But that doesn't matter. I'm going to show them all, green skin or no. I can do this.
I'll show my father I can be a high authority figure, I am smart and I am not useless. I will show Nessarose my powers aren't something to be ashamed about! I'll show the Wizard and we'll save the Animals together!
I'll show Oz that I can change the world!
I'll show Oz that I, Elphaba Thropp, am NOT wicked!
G.Maguire, W.Holzman, 2010.
Please credit where required.